Blonde Moments & Bus Stories

So I usually post these stories as facebook status' but some people make fun of me for having journal entry status' and some people get annoyed when I post more than one status in a 24 hour period (ahem, Steven Marshall). I thought having a twitter account would help me out with the latter issue (and it does) but then the problem arises when I have multiple short stories that I want to post on the same day but I can't explain in 140 characters or less! What to do!?! So that's when I remembered I had a blog... which no one reads, but that's okay. At least it's out there. I'm going to be honest- if something happens that I want to remember later on, it will stress me out trying to remember details until I finally write them down somewhere. Then I completely forget about them. Truly. It's like exactly how a pensieve works.

I'm rambling again. Sorry.

So anyways, the other day on the bus, I was looking out the window and watched the little dingy shops go by. I saw one that looked like some kind of Mexican bakery. I could tell because there were pictures of wedding cakes and pastries all over the building, along with spanish words. I saw on the window next to a cake that said "3 leches." I kid you not, I looked at it, frowned and thought, "'three leches??' It's supposed to say 'tres le--' ohh....."

And then I felt really dumb. Mind you, this all took place in my mind in less than 2 seconds, so at least I caught myself before I would have felt the need to drop out of school, so we're good. I still thought it was funny though.

So this second story kind of appalled me in a funny way. So I was on the bus and was sitting across from the back door, so I was facing it. This big guy came on the bus and brought with him about 5 brightly colored party bags. There were no more seats, so he stood by the door right in front of me. He was very odd, I thought. The only way to describe him really was that he was very animated, but moved in a very fluid, feminine way. It's weird to say that because while all city buses are jerky, no bus moves a standing person THAT much. He also laughed to himself every 20 seconds or so, quite heartily. I was trying to figure out if he was listening to an iPod and had just one earpiece in on the side of his head I couldn't see. Either way, he seemed very odd. Then he proceeded to grab into one of the party bags and pull out beef jerky. He at the piece very daintily, with his pinky up. When he was done he grabbed another bag and pulled out turkey jerky and ate it the same way. The whole bus was casually watching him now. He ate a couple more pieces of jerky, pinky up and laughing more frequently. He reached down again to another bag and pulled out a glass bottle. It was large (probably held a half gallon) and was less than half full of a watery brown-red liquid. On the label shined it's content: Brandy. My eyebrows raised a little and I turned slightly to my left to see if anyone else had seen what he pulled out. The lady next to me had her eyebrows raised too and we looked at each other with dumbfounded faces.

"Drunk!" she mouthed. I nodded and we both looked back at the man who took a big swig as the bus kept jerking forward. Laughing as though he was going to tear up, he put the bottle back in the bag. He brought it out a few more times to take some big gulps, but I was out of the bus before I could find out where the Big Brandy Man was going. Hopefully to somewhere with a shower. Alcohol + Jerky does not do much good for someone's body odor.

And those are my stories. Oh the joys of public transportation...